Whatever tomorrow brings…

I’m going to do it.

I think I’m going to do it.

I’ll do it if the opportunity arises.

I probably won’t do it.

I have a problem with self confidence and everything surrounding it. I’m not positive when it comes to myself, which is probably one of the harder things to believe if I’m in your life and trying to raise you up. I..it’s…weird. I can’t explain it. But one thing that makes sense to me is my photos.

I can work a camera. I’ve put in my time and effort into learning how to shoot manual, though 9 times out of 10 you’ll see me shooting AP mode. I don’t need to. I just want to for the time being, because I know I can’t screw it up too much that way.

But, man, there’s still so much to learn. There’s still so much to do. There’s always something. And, I mean, it’d be stupid for me to think I could make a future of this when there’s photographers that are absolutely AMAZING. THEY deserve the praise and the money and the gratitude. What am I? A hobbyist that just wants more? I refuse to be a fauxtographer, but there’s still so much to learn. I WANT to learn these things. I NEED to learn these things.

I’ve got family and friends pushing me, urging me, supporting me, but…okay. It’s nice, but how do you grow from that? I need more.

Going legit is a lot of work. A lot of money we don’t have. A lot of time that I’m not sure I can give up at this moment.

But will it be worth it?


About The Ninja

Mother, wife, pet owner, ninja.
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