It’s finished! *squee*

There’s been a project in the long works in the house. It’s literally been the better part of 2 months or so before we finally got it done. But it’s finally finished. *happy dance*

Here’s our sofa table. We got it for free via Craigslist *SCORE* and it was always okay. It was never really us, but hey, it was FREE. Come on, now. Priorities.

Anywho, here’s how it looked in our living room.

See what I mean? Everything’s already so neutral. We needed a good statement piece, and the table just SCREAMED “DO ME!” … -insert schoolgirlesque giggles-

So, after many, MAN hours of stripping the laquer, sanding, painting, sealing, sanding and repainting after the first seal left white patches all over the place, getting a new bottom board cut, realizing it was cut wrong and having to recut it a few times, it’s FINALLY finished and in our house.

And it’s beautiful.

Yes, I realize the photo is pretty yellow. Yes, I realize there’s empty slots in the photo frames.

BUT OH MY JESUS LOOK AT HOW PRETTY.

AND AND AND!

This little girl is SEVEN today! When the eff did that happen?!

Happy birthday, Selena! You’ve come SO far, and your journey isn’t even started. We’re SO proud of you baby girl!

Advertisements
Posted in Uncategorized | Tagged , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | Leave a comment

I’m in a rut.

I’m stuck.

I’m in a place that lacks creativity. It’s boring, tiring, lame. It’s like this white expanse of nothingness.

And I don’t know how to fix it.

How do you toss paint at the bland walls of a metaphysical to bring more life to the space?

I’m stuck.

I’m in a rut.

And I don’t think there’s a way out right now.

Posted in Uncategorized | Leave a comment

Three cheers for stuff.

I posted a status the other day on my Facebook, one that I’m not budging on.

Okay. I need to get this off my chest.

1. Taking a selfie on your phone and throwing an Instagram filter on it doesn’t make you a photographer. Not in the slightest. Not at all. Claiming such is…I can’t even. Literally, I can’t even. There are no words to describe the fail in your thought process.

2. Yes, photographers are expensive. Yes, there’s probably someone that’ll do your images for cheaper. But, let’s be honest, people. Some of the photos you’re wanting to get are once in a lifetime. Newborn sessions, your wedding day, these aren’t things you can just redo in a few weeks/years if you don’t like them…well, maybe the wedding thing. Maybe. But still, are you willing to sacrifice priceless images for the sake of a $20-$50 difference (or more) by using a fauxtographer? One that makes your images look flat, dull, poorly cropped so that when you print they cut off key points, overexposed, underexposed, badly composed, etc.? 

A real photographer puts time into their art, and they’re still learning each and every day. They work and work and work, striving every single day to be better than yesterday. They look into an ample amount of things to get something right just once, if at all. They invest their money into great equipment that they learn to use correctly. They push themselves, know no boundaries, and want to give you the best possible. A fauxtographer? They pull out their point and shoot, charge you $20, throw a terrible vignette on your image and give it to you out of focus. Or, hey! They might have a DSLR! Great! But do they know how to work it? Do they know the ins and outs of that camera? Do they know how to adjust the aperture, ISO, and shutter speed to produce the best image that can possibly be done? 

*sigh* I’m not directing this to anyone in particular. I’m not trying to call anyone out. I’m just..I’m so frustrated that a new fauxtographer pops up every night, making $20/session for horrible snapshots while I keep trying to learn and push myself for better before I’ll even consider doing anything professional solo.

/end rage status.

Seriously, guys, I can’t stress this enough. I’m so over it. I couldn’t ever fathom paying $20 for newborn photos and being so let down. Ever. My kids are so much older now, and I almost regret starting later with the photography learning.

That being said, I felt like I’d be a hypocrite posting a status like that without getting my own ball rolling. So, my loving, supportive, caring, amazing husband gave me an early Christmas gift.

This is the Intuos Creative Pen Tablet by Wacom. I first heard about these on the A Beautiful Mess blog. Elsie uses it there to add handwriting onto her photos. I love that idea, but what I love more is the control it gives.

I’m now able to pin point almost exactly where I want the edits to the photos I want. I can use this in my Photoshop program and do whatever! Isn’t that great!

Unfortunately, there’s somewhat of a learning curve to this thing, and I’m pretty much sucky with it right now. But, hey! More of a reason to get out there and practice, huh?

I love it so far. But what I love the most about it is that my husband got it for me. My husband is so beyond supportive in this. God, how did I get to be so lucky?

Posted in Uncategorized | Leave a comment

Whatever tomorrow brings…

I’m going to do it.

I think I’m going to do it.

I’ll do it if the opportunity arises.

I probably won’t do it.

I have a problem with self confidence and everything surrounding it. I’m not positive when it comes to myself, which is probably one of the harder things to believe if I’m in your life and trying to raise you up. I..it’s…weird. I can’t explain it. But one thing that makes sense to me is my photos.

I can work a camera. I’ve put in my time and effort into learning how to shoot manual, though 9 times out of 10 you’ll see me shooting AP mode. I don’t need to. I just want to for the time being, because I know I can’t screw it up too much that way.

But, man, there’s still so much to learn. There’s still so much to do. There’s always something. And, I mean, it’d be stupid for me to think I could make a future of this when there’s photographers that are absolutely AMAZING. THEY deserve the praise and the money and the gratitude. What am I? A hobbyist that just wants more? I refuse to be a fauxtographer, but there’s still so much to learn. I WANT to learn these things. I NEED to learn these things.

I’ve got family and friends pushing me, urging me, supporting me, but…okay. It’s nice, but how do you grow from that? I need more.

Going legit is a lot of work. A lot of money we don’t have. A lot of time that I’m not sure I can give up at this moment.

But will it be worth it?

Posted in Uncategorized | Leave a comment

NICE SHOOTING.

H’okay. So. Life. It’s happening. And it’s happening at a rapid pace that makes me not even able to think straight. Most days, I wake up, roll over, and yell “I DON’T WANT TO LIFE TODAY.” It happens. But anywho.

Working at the hospital about 6 weeks ago, I walked into a room to talk to this couple that had a new baby, their 5th. A little adorable girl that I wanted to squeeze and hug and…well, that’s kind of typical. Me and babies, we’re made for each other. So, me and the parents start talking and..well…

So, we friended each other on Facebook and we get a peek into the stalkerish lives that Facebook allows. It’s all great and happy and then I get a message asking if I can photograph a concert for the band, Consumed, that the pops (we’ll call him Bacon) manages. I said yes.

Instantly, I pretty much regretted the decision.

See, I’ve never shot a concert. I’ve photographed my kids, and a few other kids, buuuuuut I’m pretty limited. I have very little experience, and I’m upfront about that. But they were all okay with it. And I appreciate the crap outta that.

So, here’s my first time ever shooting a concert. And for my first time, I’m pretty okay with the outcome.

Consumed Consumed Consumed Anthem Lights Anthem Lights Anthem Lights

Posted in Uncategorized | Leave a comment

I want the hangout house.

When you were younger, you know you always had a home away from home at your friend’s house. If staying at your place was getting a little…annoying, you had an outlet. Not many people have that, but I was grateful enough to have some close friends with a choice of houses, and parents who just seemed to understand.

I don’t know how that happened, but it did.

Let’s talk about how much of a person it takes to welcome something that looks like..well..THAT..in their house willingly.

I had houses to go to that didn’t pass judgement. They didn’t bat an eye. They were willing to listen to me, talk to me, give me advice, and in some scenarios give me a bed to sleep in.

There’s not many of those in the world anymore. Not really.

Talk is cheap, guys, and it’s easy to say everyone is welcome into your home, but if your kid brought someone like me back to your home in high school, you’d be questioning everything. Like my parents did, the ones who told me that my friends were bad influences, hands down, because of how they dressed.

Oh. Look at that guy in the Slipknot shirt. The guy who is my husband. The guy who busts his ass everyday to give his family whatever he can. He’s selfless, hardworking, and so many more things I can’t put into words. But he’s a terrible person because he wears black and maybe he wore eyeliner better than I did and maybe he painted his nails and maybe he stalked around like he owned the place. Never once did they give him a chance.

Well, until I married him. Now I’m pretty sure my parents love him more than me.

Anywho.

I collect strays. That sounds terrible, but I’m referencing Grey’s Anatomy here. When I say strays, I mean people who just need a place to be away from the normal. You walk in, I’ll probably cook or bake something, I’ll throw in a movie, and you don’t need to talk. You don’t need to pour your heart out. You don’t need to stay an extended period of time because you’re worried I’ll get offended. Hell, most people don’t knock. They just come in. And that’s what’s expected.

And that’s what I want.

I’m going to raise the kids to be who they want to be. I don’t want them to feel like they can’t be themselves, at least not out of fear of what I’ll say or think. I want them to be open, honest, and know that they’re happy being themselves. I don’t want them to go to a person’s house where this is acceptable:

…but this isn’t:

See, Gabe is still young. His mind is still forming. He loves cars, dinosaurs, and superheroes. He also loves baby dolls, dressing up in skirts and jewelry, and playing “house”. And there’s nothing wrong with that, right?

HAH.

So many would disagree with that. But not me. Never me. And I welcome anyone, gay, straight, any variety of color, whatever, in my house. Don’t get crazy, though. I mean, we have rules.

1. Don’t screw my stuff up.
2. No suki suki.

But aside from that, I want to be that house. The one that the kids grow up in knowing they can be who they are, invite their friends over, and not be judged. The one that the kids all want to hang out at, because we’re not the “norm”. The one that is filled to the brim with energy and life and fun and love. There’s nothing better than that.

Well, there’s nothing better than that except having a man you get to call your husband who shares the same non-judgement as you do.

There’s not much better you can get than that.

Posted in Uncategorized | Leave a comment

The Great Mom Debate.

Heh. You have an idea of what this is about, yes?

“BREAST IS BETTER! FORMULA IS POISON!”
“ATLEAST I’M FEEDING MY KID! FORMULA IS FINE!”

No. Not this time. This one, it’s one that people just seem to let slide. But it’s still almost a power struggle unspoken between moms. Yeah, no words, just the side eyes and passive aggressive remarks. You know. The usual.

But, my friends and followers, I’ve reached the median. I can now talk about the shade of green the grass is on both sides.

Let me tell you, they’re the same damn shade of green no matter how you look at it.

Working moms v. Stay At Home moms. Ready? GO.

I did the working mom thing for years. YEARS. Albeit, it wasn’t necessarily on my terms, but I did it. And then when it was on my terms? I sporadically began looking for a job. I found two that I was hired for, both via Craigslist (don’t judge). Both were photographing for companies. I’m loving it.

And, yeah, I know you’re not interested in any of that. I know you guys are like the kids in The Hitchhiker’s Guide to the Galaxy asking a computer for an answer. I get it. But, please, hear me out.

The SAHM thing? I loved it. I loved hanging with the kids, doing laundry or dishes on my time, everything was so chill and..easy, I guess, but not in a “OH MY GOD THIS IS SO EASY A FLY COULD DO IT” sort of way. But, hot damn, I was bored. Yeah, there were things I COULD’VE done. Have you ever tried to get a toddler and a kid who’s straddling the big kid/bigger kid line to do something well together? Eh? Eh? It’s hard. Extremely hard. And that left me unforgivably bored.

So I start working for First Day Photo, and it’s a LOT of info to take in at once. You’d think I’d be good at that sort of thing, which I kind of am. I picked up fairly fast, if I do say so myself. They worked my schedule around the husband’s so that one of us is always at home with the kids. That’s nice. Not a lot of jobs out there would be so accommodating. They deserve some candy canes. “FOUR FOR YOU, FIRST DAY PHOTO! YOU GO, FIRST DAY PHOTO!…andnoneforsearsportraitstudioBYE.”

I’ve been working for a month now. I work on the L&D floor of a local hospital. I get coated in fresh baby smell. I see tiny, itty, bitty newbies all day. I get to take their photos. I get to edit them. I get to do something that I enjoy for ME.

So, who has it easier?

Ready?

Neither.

And that’s the God’s honest truth.

When I stayed at home, there was always something coming up that I had to get taken care of. While I work, I’m almost wishing I was home to laugh with the kids. When I stayed home, I got to play games with my kids. While I work, I get to sniff newbies. I don’t even know where the real argument is, here. If I had to pick, I’m talking gun to my head CHOOSE NOW pick, which was easier? I’d say SAHM. No doubt. I get home from work and I’m bombarded by kids who miss me and a husband who, while he’s an excellent father, still seems a little frazzled and is trying to find his way in everything. I come home to laundry that has to be done, dishes that I might do, dinner to cook, etc. I still have the responsibilities of a SAHM. I just bring some extra cash into the house now.

So, the moral of this verbal puke is simple:
Moms, why in the Hell do you feel the need to justify who is better? Am I less of a mom now that I don’t stay at home? Was I less of a mom staying at home being bored out of my mind trying to appease kids?

Let’s face it, guys. No one wins this match. Except for me. Because I get to take photos of newbies and smell them and make monies and I don’t even care if that makes me less of a mom. Who knows. Maybe the girls will be able to look up to me for it some day. “Mom worked, mom made her money to spend with daddy, mom helped contribute, the man shouldn’t be the only one working because WHY.”

Posted in Uncategorized | Leave a comment